My 10-Year High School Reunion

It’s time for my 10 year high school reunion.  The same girls that planned Spirit Day and Prom have devoted many hours and $1500 of personal money to reserve a venue.  Plans were underway.

Unfortunately for these planners, the mere 50 responses have been less than expected.    The lack of interest may result in a cancelled event.

In May 2002, over 300 people (maybe even 100 or so more!) graduated from my high school class.  We all stood together in a large auditorium before we moved on with our lives.  We listened to speeches we now can’t remember; we pretended to care about what everyone was doing next.  

10 years later, it’s time to regroup.  It’s tradition to get the class back together.  We’ll pretend we liked each other then and that we like each other now.  We’ll brag about our accomplishments and show off pictures of our babies.  We’ll try to one-up everyone about our exotic adventures.  And how many people do you think are dieting in anticipation of this 3 hour event?  

But let’s be honest, dear reader, no one is going.  There is no need for high school reunions.  Why is that, you may ask?  

FACEBOOK!!!!

I already know who has a baby-daddy....or two.  I know who got fat.  I can pretty much tell who still lives with their parents.  Boob jobs are evident through profile pictures, and so is lack of dental care.  

There is no surprise to the reunion - not in the same way our parents were excited.  There is no need to diet or go get a new outfit.  We already know where everyone is and what everyone is doing.  

And, seriously, can you imagine having to see ugly baby pictures after people already post them all over Facebook??  It would be even harder to lie to their faces.  

Sure, it’s unfortunate for those who did want to reunite and swap stories.  It’s especially unfortunate for the planners who exerted their time, energy, effort, and money.  But, I think we need to be realistic.  There isn’t an urgency to rush “home” to see our classmates, as we see so many everyday in our News Feed.  

Honestly, it feels like everyday is a freaking high school reunion!!!  But at least on Facebook we can unfriend the over-poster or hide someone’s posts who clearly didn’t receive the same spelling and grammatical education as the rest of the civilized world.   

Facebook is really all we need to reunite.  And don’t worry, there is enough to mock from merely reading the News Feed as there would be if we all made the trip to the actual event.

What the heck am I doing with my life???

The big 3-0 is approaching, dear reader.  I have never felt a stronger urgency to take hold of my life as I have these past couple of months.  No, I’m not talking about marriage or the “K” word.  I’m talking about MY life.

I’m talking about a sense of belonging and purpose within myself and my own environment. 

A couple of days ago, my Noni asked me, “How old were you when you figured out what you wanted to do?”  I just sat there. Uh…………..I don’t have it figured out.  I don’t have ANYTHING figured out.  I have no idea what is happening in the next 6 months or a year from now.  (This is very difficult for me too because I am used to living by a 5 year plan!) 

Let me wrap this all up for you: 3-0 is rapidly approaching and I have no plan.  I don’t even have a plan to begin a new plan.  Here I am.  Sitting here.  Waiting.

Waiting for what? 

I, too, am looking for something amazing, but I really struggle in my attempts to figure out my next step(s).  Where do I want to work?  Where do I want to live?  Should I move overseas again?  Can I survive without a car?  Should I go to grad school?  Is professional, economic stability really more important than living a fun, fulfilling life?  Are professional, economic stability and a fun, fulfilling life mutually exclusive?

One of my BFFs told me her favorite quote: “The world is run by people who show up.”  I love this idea.  (Hi KLH!)

I’m realizing more and more that being an active participant in my own life is the best thing I can do. 

These are the areas I’d like to change:

1.        My professional life – I want a fulfilling, meaningful job.  I want to dig wells in Africa.  I want to work with AIDS patients.  I want to give girls the Depo shot.   I also don’t want to take a pay cut.  I understand that I probably can’t have both, so here I sit contemplating the “what ifs.”

2.       My location – I think I’m done with DC.  I’ve lived here since the end of 2007.  (EEK!)  I’m ready for something new.  I have no idea where I want to go, but I’m ready should the situation present itself.

3.       My travels – I’m ready for my next adventure.  I’m ready for something outside of my comfort zone.  I’m ready to hit - dare I say it - my last continent. 

4.       My feet – My feet and I are having some disagreements right now.  At this point, it’s really not about me vs. the world, it’s really about me vs. my feet.  They might be winning today, but I’m making some great progress!  Let’s face it, I can’t do anything without my feet.

A part of me really wants to take a year (or three) to travel the world.  I want to explore as much as I can.  But I know that is completely unrealistic.  I have a life and stuff and a job and a partner.  I have expectations and responsibilities that prevent me from quitting my stable job for something so unreliable and whimsical. 

Another part of me wants to save, save, save.  I want to feel so secure about my finances that I don’t need to think about my next vacation or worry once retirement time comes.  Then, I feel like I should use this time to do everything I want because eventually I’ll feel too old and it’ll be too irresponsible to make such a drastic change.  Again, I struggle to find the medium.

I’ve also decided that everything in life is a phase.  Childhood was a phase.  Puberty was a phase.  High school was a phase.  In just the same manner, adulthood is a phase.  Parenthood is a phase.  Your career as a <insert job title here> is a phase.  Because life is organic, these phases are also organic.  I am no longer the person I was 10 years ago, just like I am no longer teenager.  I’m a different person because my life is drastically different.  I want to keep changing.  I want to develop into a better version of myself as I age.  My current phase will quickly end and I’ll embark on whatever the universe holds next for me. 

Nothing is guaranteed: marriages/relationships, jobs, one’s health.  The current phase in which we all reside will evolve into something different.  We won’t know if it’s better or worse until we get there and live through it though. 

Do I expect to feel different on my 30^th birthday?  Of course not.  BUT, I do hope to use this time to gain a clearer direction to the path on which I see my life.  I have 16 months to deeply analyze my life, my choices, and my environment  While I’m doing all of that, I’m going to SHOW UP.  I’m going to make more of a conscience effort to explore the world and assess my whole life. 

Do you have any suggestions for me? 

What are you doing?

1st hike at Shenandoah

I spent last Saturday hiking in Shenandoah National Park.  I went with that Capital Hiking Club as a first-timer.  I was a little nervous.  As much as I love trying new things and don’t mind participating solo, I was a little nervous about the entire activity.  I’d never been to the Park and I’d never been on a real hike. Don’t worry, dear reader, I survived.

There is one thing I learned from this hike: I’m basically a little teapot.  I’m short.  I’m stout.  If someone would have tipped me over, I would have poured out all over the trail.  The super cute green pack on my back was kinda heavy too.  

I went on the short hike: 7 miles.  (The long hike was 10 miles...I'm not sure I would have survived.)  I traveled through Stony Man and White Oak Canyon.  The hike ended with a swim at a beautiful swimming hole.  

These 7 miles weren’t easy for me either.  I was huffing and puffing through most of the trail.  The ups and downs really challenged my body.

I got to see a rattlesnake.

This waterfalls was my background noise.

The views made everything worth it.

And my sweet blisters have forced me to remember this trip all week!!!

It was an awesome day.  I highly recommend making the trip the Shenandoah or joining me and the Capital Hiking Club on our next adventure.

Happy hiking!!!

Bikram Hot Yoga

This morning was my third class of Bikram Hot Yoga in Tenleytown.   

Hot Yoga is exactly what you think.  It’s hot.  And you do yoga.  I know what you, dear reader, are thinking, “Why the heck would you do that???”

Well, I got a Groupon.  And I’m a sucker for a good Groupon.

But what is Bikram Hot Yoga really like?  

• You go through a series of positions.  Each class goes through the same set of 26 positions.
• The room is PACKED.  They are probably 25 - 30 crazies in one sauna doing yoga.  Yes, people en masse go voluntarily.
• Many of them don’t wear a lot of clothes.  The men are shirtless and the women wear a sports bra and booty shorts.  I, of course, we wear a tshirt and shorts that go to my knee.  
• The instructor does not participate.  She only instructs.  It’s strange.  
• The class is 90 minutes.  That’s a LONG time to stretch in a sauna.
• You will sweat a lot.  Seriously, it’s more than you expect.  And it’s different than any other kind of sweating too.  The sweat pools on your skin and then it slowly drips down your skin.  There isn’t a lot of time to wipe the sweat off because you are trying not to fall from your twisted position.  It’s really gross and annoying.  Let’s just be honest, it’s a self-induced form of Chinese Water Torture.
• You can’t drink water for the first 25 minutes.  I think they do this to torture you more.  
• No one notices if you don’t do well...or, if you are like me, and have to kneel down and put your head between your knees to prevent passing out and making a fool of yourself.  I think everyone is trying to not pass out so they don’t notice if you don’t nail a position. 
• It’s ok if you fall over.  Yes, usually your reflexes are quick enough so you don’t smack your face on your yoga mat, but there are a lot of people who lose their balance and have to start all over.  
• The real benefit, as far as I can tell, is the next day.  You feel so good.  You stand taller, and you are impressed that you didn’t have to go to the ER.  

If you find a hot yoga studio near you, I highly recommend it.  Yes, its kind of expensive, but it’s amazing to know that you can survive, even if you have to stop and regain breath control.  

Have you ever done hot yoga??  Do you think I’m crazy?  

Establishing Roots vs. Nomadic Lifestyle

For the past 8 years, I’ve traveled all around.  I left Kansas City, MO and ended up in Washington DC.  In between, I’ve lived and explored Europe and I visited Asia....if you call that visiting.  I’ve moved about 7 times.  I have purposely avoided any type of substantial consistency.  

In my current situation, I live-in-sin with my boyfriend of 3 years, and we have been in our apartment for TWO YEARS!!!  <insert collective gasp here>

Our lease is coming to an end, and I am ready to get the heck out of here.  Don’t get me wrong, I really like where I live.  I have a pedestrian lifestyle and the luxury apartment complex isn’t too shabby either.  I have no reason to complain about my living situation.  It’s everything one could want in the DC area, including washer/dryer in-unit.....which is apparently UNHEARD of.  

So why do I want to move? 

Why can’t I get away from this nomadic existence I have created for myself?  

Well, I like moving.  I like starting over.  I like change.  I like finding a new neighborhood to explore.  It’s exhilarating.  

But, am I getting too old for this???  I’m almost the big 3-0, dear reader.  Shouldn’t I be acting more like a grown-up?

I have multiple friends who are married, have kids, and pay on a mortgage.  <again, gasp!>  I have some friends who are having kids on purpose!!!  

Am I suppose to want all of this too???   Should I be establishing roots somewhere?  Should discussion of the “M” word be in our conversations??   <insert screaming here>

Maybe I’m just too immature.  Maybe I’m not ready to “settle down” and be a real person, or maybe I’m not ready to be a grown-up.  

I don’t know what I’m suppose to do.  I don’t even know what society says I should do - yes, even society has conflicting ideas.  All I know is that I really enjoy change.  I like the unknown.  Being comfortable, while very nice, becomes boring.  I’m so afraid of becoming stagnant in my own life that I think I over-compensate by constantly engaging in some type of new activity.  

What do you think??  Am I too old to have a nomadic lifestyle?  Should I “settle down” and start being establishing roots?  Or, should I keep going in this direction and see where I end up?

P.S.  If you have ideas on how to proactively make life choices, please include them in the below comment section.  

Electronic Entertainment vs. Simplicity

Can you imagine a day without electronics?  

No checking the weather.  

No news.  

No status updates.

No taking pictures.

You will have to wear a watch.

It is my goal to have an electronic free day.  When I bring it up to the boy, he gives me the look of death.  He cannot fathom going a day without electronics.  What if someone tries to call?  What if Barack gets assassinated?  What if a piece of junk mail goes into my inbox?  What if a sports team scores some type of goal?  How will we ever know if these things happen?

My apartment is 700 square feet.  It’s small.  Really small.  But, dear reader, my little box is surrounded by electronics:

iPod - we have two

iPad - we have two

iPhone - we have two (well....actually we have three....a backup iPhone 3S just in case something happens to our iPhone 4S)

Macbook - we have two

TV - we have two (although one is not hooked up)

Playstation

Camera - we have two

Sometimes, I feel like I can’t get away from technology.  It’s a little annoying.  It’s a little overwhelming to have so many choices.  

Sometimes I crave simplicity.

Can you imagine????  

Simplicity!   (AH!)

No waiving your arm in a figure 8 - LIKE AN IDIOT - looking for a signal.  (Don’t act like you haven’t done it!!!)

No flipping through channels looking for a mindless show to watch.

No swapping devices to charge all of these devices with the same charger.

No checking your phone every 30 seconds.

I imagine a quieter day.  I imagine a more creative day.  I imagine, either, a cleaner apartment or spending more time outside.  Or, I’d sleep more.  Yes, maybe I’d sleep more.

I don’t know if this will ever happen, but it’s something I think about all the time.  But, in reality, I’m not sure that I can get away from electronics.  It may be a completely impractical goal.  Regardless, one day, I’ll try.  And, I’ll be sure to encourage the boy to give up the electronic dependence, a causality of our society.  I just wonder how long I’ll continue to receive the look of death.

How would you spend an electronic free day?  

Would you be lost?  

Would you be willing to try?  

Is a day without electronics realistic?

FEEDBACK PLEASE!

P.S.  I lied to you, dear reader.  We also have an extra flip phone too....you know...just in case our iPhone 4S dies and our backup iPhone 3S dies.  

Comfort Zones vs. Uncomfortable Discoveries

If you’ve read any part of my blog, you know that I love finding new activities in which to partake.  I love doing something that is completely new, something I’ve ever done (i.e. knitting or Farsi classes).  I honestly enjoy getting out into the world and exploring places, ideas, and people that are different than anything I’ve ever know.  Sometimes I have good experiences, and sometimes I don’t, but regardless, everything is an experience to grow from.

Getting outside of one’s comfort zone is difficult.  VERY DIFFICULT!  No one likes to feel uncomfortable or like they don’t belong.  No one wants to walk down a street and feel unsafe.  People, in general, are content to stay in their little bubble.  We go to work, come home, eat dinner, and waste a couple hours before we head to bed.  (I’m sure this is somewhat different if you have children, but for the most part I bet it’s mostly the same.)  

This is what we call normal.  “Normal” is going to work and straight coming home.  “Normal” is taking little Timmy to soccer on Saturday mornings.  “Normal” is watching mindless TV to pass the time before it’s jam-jam time.  (Sadly, “normal” is talking about mindless television at work the next day.)  For the most part, this is my normal too.  This is how I grew up.  This is what, I think, most people want to achieve.  (If “normal” is an accomplishment.....but that is another blog post.)

I like normal.  Normal feels stable to me - I know exactly what to expect.  And, as the avid planner I am, I would know exactly what dinner will taste like.  Yes, this is nice....to a point.  

But for me, I get so bored.  I honestly enjoy uncovering a new culture or treasure.  I think that getting outside of my 700 sq. ft apartment is the best thing I can do.  Not only do I learn about a world I probably would have never known existed, but I learn something about myself.  

What do YOU think?  Is finding a normal comfort zone better than endlessly exploring something else?  Can there be a happy balance?  What is “normal” to you?  Is “normal” an accomplishment?