Surviving the Quarter Life Crisis

I’m just trying to survive my Quarter Life Crisis.  

I have 8 months before I hit 30, and I’m pretty sure I was supposed to have it all together by now.  But let’s be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing.  I am basically a 12-year-old child trapped in this 29-year-old, cubicle-working, no passion, no direction life.  

In reality, I’m just trying to figure it all out.  

Where do I want to live?

Where do I want to work?

Am I really a repressed minimalist living among too much stuff?

What is my passion?  (Uh...is “passion” really a thing??)

Why can’t I stop biting my nails?

How do I define success?  And how am I working towards this?

So, in true form, I decided I need a plan.  Without a plan, I don’t act.  I think and stew and wallow.  Having a plan is much better.

This is my plan to persevere through my Quarter Life Crisis:

1.  Define my goals.

Without a clear set of goals, you have no idea what you are working towards.  You’ll just roam through life without a clear sense of direction.  You don’t have to be on the right path, but you should have an idea of where you are are going.  

Someone once had me make a life plan.  This was a daunting task, but it did open my eyes to begin mapping out how I want my future to look.

2.  Save money.

No one likes feeling poor.  No one likes feeling like they can’t pay their bills or that they can’t do the things they want.  You probably aren’t going to have your dream job at this point - let’s not even talk about our dream salary - but there is always room to save money.  

And I highly suggest watching Suze!

3.  Do something creative.

Take an art class.  Rearrange your living room.  Only buy things that are pretty AND functional.  Buy snappy shoes.  Get a haircut.  Get hot pink hair extensions.  

Doing something creative will only open your eyes to the beauty in the world.  Only then will you see the beauty in yourself and the beauty in the things that may have once appeared ugly and terrible.  

4.  Get outside.

Some people like running.  I might not be one of those people, but I highly suggest you going out for a run.  Or a brisk walk.  Or a slow walk.  

I have recently discovered joy and peace in hiking.  Maybe there is some new activity in which you could partake....who knows....maybe you’ll discover a new love.  

5.  DO SOMETHING!!!!

Write down your plan; then, put it into action.  Take a class at the community college or enroll in grad school.  Start a journal.  Use a planner.  Go to a MeetUp event.  Get outside of your comfort zone.  Take a different route to work tomorrow.  

Taking a baby step is better than stagnation.  

My Month of Writing Dangerously

November marks the beginning of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  

For each of the 30 days, I'll attempt to write 1,667 words per day which will result in a 50,000 word novel.  I'll try to make these words cohesive and remain on topic - the "plot," if you will.  I'll attempt to actually use my time wisely and write daily.  (That last part is what I'm most concerned about!)

According to the NaNoWriMo rules, you are allowed to outline your story before you begin writing on November 1.  I have spent hours developing my characters and my plot line.  I have consulted with numerous friends and family (well, my sister) about creating something that the average reader (me) would want to read.  

This is no easy task, dear reader.  In fact, this may be the most creatively difficult adventure I've attempted.  I can go on a hike.  Easy-peasey.  I can take my grandmother across the pond.  No probs.  But to sit down and write a novel is something completely different and completely out of my comfort zone.

Let me be clear: this is NOT the great American novel.  I'm not John Steinbeck or Mark Twain.  I strive to have the humor of Jen Lancaster or the will of Cheryl Strayed.  But in reality, I'm just a mere closet-writer.   That plot line I've spent hours developing isn't exactly....developed.  (Geez....I'm working on it, ok!)  

What do I need from you, dear reader?  SUPPORT.  This support can come in the form of an encouraging text message, or spunky care package filled with M&Ms, Kit-Kats, and Dr. Pepper.  Support could be in the form of a creative suggestion if my poorly planned plot line fails miserably.  

Wish me luck - I'm off to finish outlining before the big month begins!!!  Only 2 days, 9 hours left....but who's counting!!!

What the heck am I doing with my life???

The big 3-0 is approaching, dear reader.  I have never felt a stronger urgency to take hold of my life as I have these past couple of months.  No, I’m not talking about marriage or the “K” word.  I’m talking about MY life.

I’m talking about a sense of belonging and purpose within myself and my own environment. 

A couple of days ago, my Noni asked me, “How old were you when you figured out what you wanted to do?”  I just sat there. Uh…………..I don’t have it figured out.  I don’t have ANYTHING figured out.  I have no idea what is happening in the next 6 months or a year from now.  (This is very difficult for me too because I am used to living by a 5 year plan!) 

Let me wrap this all up for you: 3-0 is rapidly approaching and I have no plan.  I don’t even have a plan to begin a new plan.  Here I am.  Sitting here.  Waiting.

Waiting for what? 

I, too, am looking for something amazing, but I really struggle in my attempts to figure out my next step(s).  Where do I want to work?  Where do I want to live?  Should I move overseas again?  Can I survive without a car?  Should I go to grad school?  Is professional, economic stability really more important than living a fun, fulfilling life?  Are professional, economic stability and a fun, fulfilling life mutually exclusive?

One of my BFFs told me her favorite quote: “The world is run by people who show up.”  I love this idea.  (Hi KLH!)

I’m realizing more and more that being an active participant in my own life is the best thing I can do. 

These are the areas I’d like to change:

1.        My professional life – I want a fulfilling, meaningful job.  I want to dig wells in Africa.  I want to work with AIDS patients.  I want to give girls the Depo shot.   I also don’t want to take a pay cut.  I understand that I probably can’t have both, so here I sit contemplating the “what ifs.”

2.       My location – I think I’m done with DC.  I’ve lived here since the end of 2007.  (EEK!)  I’m ready for something new.  I have no idea where I want to go, but I’m ready should the situation present itself.

3.       My travels – I’m ready for my next adventure.  I’m ready for something outside of my comfort zone.  I’m ready to hit - dare I say it - my last continent. 

4.       My feet – My feet and I are having some disagreements right now.  At this point, it’s really not about me vs. the world, it’s really about me vs. my feet.  They might be winning today, but I’m making some great progress!  Let’s face it, I can’t do anything without my feet.

A part of me really wants to take a year (or three) to travel the world.  I want to explore as much as I can.  But I know that is completely unrealistic.  I have a life and stuff and a job and a partner.  I have expectations and responsibilities that prevent me from quitting my stable job for something so unreliable and whimsical. 

Another part of me wants to save, save, save.  I want to feel so secure about my finances that I don’t need to think about my next vacation or worry once retirement time comes.  Then, I feel like I should use this time to do everything I want because eventually I’ll feel too old and it’ll be too irresponsible to make such a drastic change.  Again, I struggle to find the medium.

I’ve also decided that everything in life is a phase.  Childhood was a phase.  Puberty was a phase.  High school was a phase.  In just the same manner, adulthood is a phase.  Parenthood is a phase.  Your career as a <insert job title here> is a phase.  Because life is organic, these phases are also organic.  I am no longer the person I was 10 years ago, just like I am no longer teenager.  I’m a different person because my life is drastically different.  I want to keep changing.  I want to develop into a better version of myself as I age.  My current phase will quickly end and I’ll embark on whatever the universe holds next for me. 

Nothing is guaranteed: marriages/relationships, jobs, one’s health.  The current phase in which we all reside will evolve into something different.  We won’t know if it’s better or worse until we get there and live through it though. 

Do I expect to feel different on my 30^th birthday?  Of course not.  BUT, I do hope to use this time to gain a clearer direction to the path on which I see my life.  I have 16 months to deeply analyze my life, my choices, and my environment  While I’m doing all of that, I’m going to SHOW UP.  I’m going to make more of a conscience effort to explore the world and assess my whole life. 

Do you have any suggestions for me? 

What are you doing?