As you know, dear reader, the impending doom of 30 is rapidly approaching. It’s already late-May, and I have less than 7 months to live up my 20s.
Getting older is, no doubt, inescapable. There are, however, vivid signs of my age that have slowly crept up me like growing ivy.
· My savings accounts are always on my mind.
· I own spanx.
· My body flattens when I lay down.
· I will only buy comfortable, functional shoes.
· There is something wrong with my left knee.
· No matter how much I sleep, I still feel tired in the morning.
· I don’t like to drive at night anymore.
· It takes forever to get over a cold.
· It makes me happy to see that other people from high school have gained weight too.
· IF I get into a swimsuit, it’s a one-piece. If I ever have enough courage to wear a two-piece again, it’ll probably be a tankini with a skirt.
· I think no one should make major life decisions until they turn 30. (Major life decisions = buying a house, getting married, procreating, etc.)
· I wash my hand much more often that I ever used to.
· My back hurts when I stand at the sink.
· No matter what I eat, I’m going to need a Tums.
· I’m still mad that high school wasn’t like 90210 or Saved by the Bell.
· I spend the extra money for transition lenses.
· I can never tell if I’m bloated or just chubby.
· I’m in my jam-jams by 8pm.
· Dress pants without creases bother me.
· Your friends start having kids on purpose.
· I always confirm my plans and appointments.
· My grandmother and I have long discussions about the crossword.
· I’m not fully convinced that I’m a grown-up, even though I’ve been doing it all on my own for over 10 years.
· I have to pee in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once. And then I need another Tums.
Pretending to be an adult is quite exhausting.
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