6 month Check-Up

TODAY marks the 6 month anniversary of my blog.  It really is an exciting time for me.  As nerdy as this is, I’ve become completely obsessed with it.  I’m not sure why either - maybe it’s a good outlet, maybe it’s a way to keep me accountable of the way I spend my time, and maybe it’s a combination of all of this.  I mean, let’s be honest, I don’t post all that often.  Regardless, I love blogging.  I love looking for new ideas, and I love when people read and respond.  Thank you, dear reader, for paying attention and for caring enough to keep reading.

The past 6 months has been quite busy.  Here is a quick recap of what I’ve been doing:

• Graduated from University of Maryland (a life goal)
• Started a job
• Visited the National Portrait Gallery
• Played on a volleyball team
• Took a painting class
• Went to NYC with the boy
• Sent the boy off to Army training
• Started going to the gym
• Joined Weight Watchers
• Went to a lecture/book signing discussing the book Monticello, Slavery, and the Hemingses
• Had dozens of dinners with friends
• Visited Monticello
• Went hiking at Great Falls Park
• Took the GRE
• Attended a lecture on George Washington and Sally Fairfax
• Went to the boy’s fancy-smancy Army ball
• Quit going to the gym
• Took a knitting class
• Began learning Farsi
• Hiking at Carterock
• Went to a wedding in St. Louis and visited my sister/nieces in mid-Missouri
• Began a kickball team
• Began a touch football team
• Participated in Dining Out for DC
• Went to a Madeleine Albright speaking/book signing engagement
• Started going to the gym again
• Attended a meditation class

Hmmm.....I guess that’s about all.  I also tutor once a week, but I’ve been doing that for a while.

But, I’m not focusing on the past.  I’d rather look towards the future.  To be honest, I have no idea what’s happening in the next 6 months.  After my football and kickball seasons are over, I’m not sure how I’ll spend my time.  When my Farsi semester concludes, I’m not sure if I’ll take more classes.  Maybe I’ll take a writing class or maybe I’ll spend more time cooking.  Is graduate school calling my name?  Who knows!!!  What I do know is that I’m not stopping.  

I’m going to keep blogging.

I’m going to keep thinking critically.

I’m going to keep exploring.

I’m going to keep learning.

I’m going to continue loving life.

Thank you again for reading, dear reader.  You have made the last 6 months quite enjoyable.

Feel free to leave me a comment.  I welcome comments, criticism, or compliments.  I take everything you say quite seriously.  

Pride = Judgement

I have noticed recently that I’ve been judging people more and more lately.  Embarrassingly, I’ve been judging silently, mostly.  Yet, it’s more than just thinking someone’s clothes are silly or someone has made a ignorant comment.  Instead, I’m judging based on my own beliefs, actions, or decisions.  But the more I think about it, the more I think most judgements are based upon these three categories.  

I’ll offer a few, broadly based judgements that I have seen over and over.  Usually, but not in all cases, these judgments are flat.  Circumstances do not matter.  Diligent attention is not given.  Judgements are made at face value without considering the back-story.

     1.  Beliefs - My religious is x.  Your religion is y.  Therefore you are wrong.  

     2.  Actions - I go to the gym.  I maintain a certain body image.  You do not maintain the same standards I have set.  Therefore you are wrong.

     3.  Decisions - I have chosen to breast feed.  You don’t breast feed.  Therefore you are wrong.

I try to make calculated decisions in my life.  I try to think through consequences.  I think, in general, most people do the same things.  So if we are all making thoughtful decisions, why are we judging others???

Pride is one of the worst qualities one can have.  I think pride breeds judgement.  For the examples I listed above, I think people have pride in their decisions.  People are proud of their devotion to breast feed.  People are proud of their gym-made bodies.  People are proud of the religion they have chosen - assuming they choose their belief system and didn’t take the belief system fed to them as a child.....but that is another blog post for later.  

Another example I often see comes through the pride in one’s home.  Usually they take a concerted effort to keep their house clean, which I find a wonderful quality.  (I could probably learn lessons from these people.)  But pride in their home should not create judgement in another’s domestic skills.  

So what can I do to change?  How can I be a better person? 

First, STOP JUDGING PEOPLE WHO MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES THAN WHAT I WOULD MAKE!!!!  

Second, contemplate a back story.  It is possible that an overweight person has major medical issues that prevents exercise.  Or maybe they are on a medicine that causes weight gain.  Regardless, you probably don’t know the real issues one carries, and you don’t have the right to start judging.

Third, accept that another’s decision is the best choice for them at that moment.  I am not a parent myself, but I have heard sooooo many judgments from friends who are parents.  Breast feeding is a huge issue.  So is education.  So is the working aspect of the parents.  It’s just amazing to me.  I don’t know why anyone cares if someone stays at home all day breast feeding and homeschooling.  It probably doesn’t involve you.  Then again, if a working parent chooses use formula and take their kid to a day-care, we should also accept this decision.

I have found that we are all just trying to survive.  We are all just trying to find our place in the world.  What we do NOT need is unnecessary judgement.  I welcome all constructive criticism, concern, and suggestions.  Seriously, I do.  What I do not accept is unfair judgement based what we believe we would do in that situation.  

So the next time you pass an obese person, think twice before making fun.  The next time you feel pride in your actions and judge those who make different choices, I simply ask that you think twice.  

What do you think???  Am I a complete idiot?  Am I the only one who silently judges based on the choice I would make?  

I sincerely welcome all comments, questions, concerns, and disagreements.