My 10-Year High School Reunion

It’s time for my 10 year high school reunion.  The same girls that planned Spirit Day and Prom have devoted many hours and $1500 of personal money to reserve a venue.  Plans were underway.

Unfortunately for these planners, the mere 50 responses have been less than expected.    The lack of interest may result in a cancelled event.

In May 2002, over 300 people (maybe even 100 or so more!) graduated from my high school class.  We all stood together in a large auditorium before we moved on with our lives.  We listened to speeches we now can’t remember; we pretended to care about what everyone was doing next.  

10 years later, it’s time to regroup.  It’s tradition to get the class back together.  We’ll pretend we liked each other then and that we like each other now.  We’ll brag about our accomplishments and show off pictures of our babies.  We’ll try to one-up everyone about our exotic adventures.  And how many people do you think are dieting in anticipation of this 3 hour event?  

But let’s be honest, dear reader, no one is going.  There is no need for high school reunions.  Why is that, you may ask?  

FACEBOOK!!!!

I already know who has a baby-daddy....or two.  I know who got fat.  I can pretty much tell who still lives with their parents.  Boob jobs are evident through profile pictures, and so is lack of dental care.  

There is no surprise to the reunion - not in the same way our parents were excited.  There is no need to diet or go get a new outfit.  We already know where everyone is and what everyone is doing.  

And, seriously, can you imagine having to see ugly baby pictures after people already post them all over Facebook??  It would be even harder to lie to their faces.  

Sure, it’s unfortunate for those who did want to reunite and swap stories.  It’s especially unfortunate for the planners who exerted their time, energy, effort, and money.  But, I think we need to be realistic.  There isn’t an urgency to rush “home” to see our classmates, as we see so many everyday in our News Feed.  

Honestly, it feels like everyday is a freaking high school reunion!!!  But at least on Facebook we can unfriend the over-poster or hide someone’s posts who clearly didn’t receive the same spelling and grammatical education as the rest of the civilized world.   

Facebook is really all we need to reunite.  And don’t worry, there is enough to mock from merely reading the News Feed as there would be if we all made the trip to the actual event.