Psycho-analyzing My Life

My quarter-life crisis is coming to a slow end, and I’m beginning to realize that, instead of resolving my issues, I’m learning to adapt and accept many areas of my life.  I’m learning to accept my place in the world and the choices I’ve made - although I REALLY struggle with that last part.  

In my attempt to analyze my life, I’m beginning to psycho-analyze my life as well.  In my last few blog posts, I’ve noticed that I keep coming back to the idea of happiness.  

I believe that I am responsible for my own happiness.  Only me.  Not you.  Not the boy.  Not my job.  ME!  

Because I am the only who impacts my morale, I constantly thinking about the variety of ways to improve myself.  The only problem is that I cannot make a decision to save my life!!!  Seriously.  I have no idea how people make proactive decisions.  For many people, I think they make reactive decisions based on life-changing circumstances.  For example, one may think, “I’m pregnant, so I’ll get married.”  or “He/she is cheating on me, so I’ll get a divorce.”  One may decide to move to Seattle because of a job opportunity, but how does one decide to move just because?  Or, do you stay in the same city that you’ve always lived in because that’s all you know?

One of my biggest fears, other than lactose-intolerance, is becoming stagnate in my own life.  I’m afraid of becoming comfortable.  I think that’s why I am constantly trying to change, think, read, travel, and engage in a multitude of activities with no generic theme.  I mean, I don’t think normal, content people taking a knitting class, go hiking, and attend a lecture on a Founding Father within weeks of each other.  Me, on the other hand, I thrive on this stuff!

I know I can’t be the only one who thinks about this stuff.....right.   RIGHT?!?!!?  

Sometimes though, it really feels like I’m the only one contemplating life.  I think that people often DO NOT analyze their life because they aren’t very happy but are putting on a facade.  It’s too uncomfortable to let the world know that we are unsatisfied or wish we would have made different choices.  Let’s face it, not many people are satisfied in their professional life and people clearly aren’t satisfied in their personal life or the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high.  So why do we all pretend that everything is so great?

All I know is that I constantly analyze my happiness, it’s roots, and it’s future.  I think about where I want to live and work.  I think about my future with my partner.  I think about my future regardless of my relationship status.  I think about growing and developing and learning and adapting.  

Who knows when and/or if I’ll make the big decisions: marriage, kids (AH!!!!), career, location, etc.   

But I’m pretty sure that I won’t stop thinking about these things.  

What do you think about???  Am I the only one analyzing life?  

Leave me a comment......

Billy Goat Trail

Last weekend I made my second hike of the year.  My friend Lineka and I drove up to the Billy Goat Trail to get starting on our outdoor adventure.  Spending the afternoon outdoors with a good friend is one of the best ways spend my time.  

It was the perfect day.  We entered through Carderock, and The trail wasn’t too crowded - except for that crazy, unleashed greyhound that kept watching us, running circles around us, and almost knocking us over.  Otherwise, we saw other hikers, families, fishermen, and people out for a lazy Sunday stroll.  The trail was surrounded by the C&O Canal and an open, large park.  

We forged through rocky waters.

We stopped to enjoy the view.

But mostly, we talked and laughed and enjoyed the afternoon.  Everything I read said the trail was about 4 miles long, but we were only there for about an hour, so I assume we only did about half of the trail.  

Finding such a quiet place outside the beltway was often be a nice way to escape the stress DC brings to many people.  

Bible-banging Homophobes Need Not Apply

WARNING: This post is NOT for you if you are a “bible-banging homophobe.”  Seriously, move on.

First, please read this article:  http://www.practikel.com/2012/01/27/christian-group-shows-up-to-chicago-gay-pride-holding-apologetic-signs/

No really, read this article.

What I have to say won’t make sense if you don’t read the article.

Now I don’t really talk about religion too much.  Partly because I don’t want to argue; partly because I don’t have anything to say; and partly because religion isn’t a big part of my life and therefore isn’t a big part of my conversations.

Regardless of your religious beliefs, we all know someone who is homophobic and blames it on their religion.  I cannot stand these people.  I don’t care what anyone believes.  I do not care for people who discriminate - regardless of their reasoning.  In fact, if you discriminate, you are probably not a part of my life.

I honestly don’t have much to say though.  I think the article says enough.  

I just wonder how much I can all learn from those saying, “I’m sorry.”  I wonder how much more I can love and respect people who aren’t the same as me.  (I mean, let’s be honest, NO ONE is the same as me!)  And I wonder if my treatment towards another person impacts them to their core.  I’m sure that at various points, my words and/or actions have stuck with the people I encounter.  This article is just a friendly reminder to myself that I need to watch my actions, my words, and always make sure my character is on the forefront of my behavior.  

Thank you, Ms. Ezra for this article.  

A Book That Made Me Think: THE IMMORTAL LIFE OF HENRIETTA LACKS

As a daily commuter, I see people engaging in various activities.  Many people are disgusting - they pop their zits or clip their fingernails.  (Yes, I’m serious.  Yes, I’m working on a blog post on this very subject.) A lot of people sleep.  Others sit quietly, listening to their iPods.  People like me, we read.  When I see multiple people reading the same book, I decide I need to investigate this book, which is how I came across The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.

In a nutshell, this is the true story of a Maryland woman who had cancer and a host of STDs from her very giving husband.  The interesting part about this woman, who died only about 60 years ago, is that her cancerous cells are still being studied in academia and in laboratories worldwide.  Except there is a catch.  The doctors who took her cells did not tell her they were taking cells for more research.  They definitely didn’t tell her they were selling, trading, and giving her cells away to other scientists to do more research.  Her very poor family did not receive any compensation.  In fact, it was many years after Henrietta’s death that they even discovered research was being done.  

Yes, the research done has done a lot (no, A LOT) of good for humanity.  Henrietta Lacks’ cells have led to the development of the polio vaccine, cloning, gene mapping, and a plethora of scientific advancements.  It’s pretty amazing.

In the afterword, Skloot made some remarks that made me think, “Today most Americans have their tissue on file somewhere.  When you go to the doctor for a routine blood test or to have a mole removed, when you have an appendectomy, tonsillectomy, or any other kind of ectomy, the stuff you leave behind doesn’t always get thrown out.  Doctors, hospitals, and laboratories keep it.  Often indefinitely.”     SERIOUSLY?  DOES THIS REALLY HAPPEN????   She also said, “Biobanks stores appendixes, ovaries, skin, sphincters, testicles, fat, even foreskin from most circumcisions.  They also house blood samples taken from most infants born in the United States since the late sixties, when states started mandating the screening of all newborns for genetic diseases.”

This is just crazy.  Then, I started thinking about my commute.  At each entrance/exit of a Metro stop, there are nice people there to hand to a free paper, Express.  This is a Washington Post owned paper, but it’s free to the commuters in Washington DC.  (This paper is actually the reason I reduced my subscription at home.)  This paper gives you a very brief run-down of world-wide events, plus huge advertisement section.  Along with the available apartments in the area, one can sign up for many medical tests.  

Just in Friday’s paper alone, I found advertisements for participation in research studies if one happens to have rheumatoid arthritis, gout, heart disease, or depression.

Or if you want to be an egg donor, there is a number to call.  If you want to participate in a live influenza vaccine study or a study on fear and anxiety, there is also a niche for you in the greater DC area.

But what is going to happen to your research?  Are doctors/labs going to continue to test your “donations” long after the study?  

All I know is that I’m going to be asking MANY more questions the next time I give blood and during my next physical.  

I suggest you read this book.  It was very insightful to the development of medicine, especially when it hits so close to home, literally.  You also might want to think of some questions for the doctor next time you pay a visit.