My First Backpacking Trip

I have big dreams of being a backpacker.  BIG DREAMS!

I dream of taking a sabbatical from work and hiking the Appalachian Trail.  I have spent hours researching exotic places like Thailand and Peru.  I envision Pack and I climbing up the Continental Divide and looking over the country in awe.  I dream of becoming one with nature in the most intimate way.  I picture myself loving life in “survival mode.”  

In theory, I would be an excellent backpacker.  I have a pack.  I have a sleeping bag and tent.  I have strong thighs.  And, I want it.  I want it bad.

Then....I went on my first backpacking trip.

Not only was I exhausted by the unbelievable amount of work it takes to carry 35 extra pounds on your back, but the maps lied about the mileage - and not in my favor.  Are maps allowed to lie?  Dang you National Park Service!!!  

Oh, and when you learn that water isn’t available, they aren’t lying about that. 

I’m the girl that drank (filtered) water from a mud puddle.

By the end of day one, I was exhausted and my fun limit had been hit.  I was excited to crawl into my tent, but sleeping under the stars isn’t as relaxing as it seems.  Nature had re-confirmed how much silence is important to my sleep.  Nature is really loud.  No, I’m not talking about the unfriendly rattlesnake I met along the trail.  I’m talking about mate-less birds who won’t shut up.  (Are you mate-less for a reason, bird???)  I’m talking about wind.  I’m talking about beautiful streams.  I’m talking about the imaginary animals you make yourself believe are roaming around outside your tent.  

Yes, I love nature, but I also love sleep.  And I can’t sleep when it’s loud.  

I also can’t sleep when it’s light outside.  After you have spent a whole day hiking with your belongings on your back, you go to bed around 7pm.  The sun, however, did not get the memo that I was exhausted and needed a restful night of sleep.  

By day 3, I mentally and physically beat by the 30+ miles of trail.  Then, the universe wanted to test me further.  Mother Nature opened up the sky, and rained on me.  Then it rained more.  It rained so much that my rain gear could not longer repel the thick drops.  My expensive, “rain repellant” clothing completely soiled my clothes and underwear.

And do you know what happens when you are soaking wet and continue to hike?  Yep, you get rashes all over your body from your clothes and your pack rubbing against you in the most private places.  It’s not pretty.  Two weeks later....it still isn’t pretty.  And now, I permanently smell like topical cream.

Looking back, I am thrilled that I survived the backpacking trip.  I feel like I accomplished something.  I also learned that backpacking might not be for me.  And that’s ok.  Just like I learned that winter mountaineering might not be for me when I climbed Mount Washington, there is a possibility that backpacking isn’t for me either.  

Maybe I’m more of a car camper and a day hiker.  

And, maybe I’m ok with this discovery!

Signs of aging

As you know, dear reader, the impending doom of 30 is rapidly approaching.  It’s already late-May, and I have less than 7 months to live up my 20s. 

Getting older is, no doubt, inescapable.  There are, however, vivid signs of my age that have slowly crept up me like growing ivy. 

·         My savings accounts are always on my mind.

·         I own spanx.

·         My body flattens when I lay down.

·         I will only buy comfortable, functional shoes.

·         There is something wrong with my left knee.

·         No matter how much I sleep, I still feel tired in the morning.

·         I don’t like to drive at night anymore.

·         It takes forever to get over a cold.

·         It makes me happy to see that other people from high school have gained weight too.

·         IF I get into a swimsuit, it’s a one-piece.  If I ever have enough courage to wear a two-piece again, it’ll probably be a tankini with a skirt.

·         I think no one should make major life decisions until they turn 30.  (Major life decisions = buying a house, getting married, procreating, etc.)

·         I wash my hand much more often that I ever used to.

·         My back hurts when I stand at the sink.

·         No matter what I eat, I’m going to need a Tums. 

·         I’m still mad that high school wasn’t like 90210 or Saved by the Bell.

·         I spend the extra money for transition lenses.

·         I can never tell if I’m bloated or just chubby.

·         I’m in my jam-jams by 8pm.

·         Dress pants without creases bother me.

·         Your friends start having kids on purpose.

·         I always confirm my plans and appointments.

·         My grandmother and I have long discussions about the crossword.

·         I’m not fully convinced that I’m a grown-up, even though I’ve been doing it all on my own for over 10 years.

·         I have to pee in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once.  And then I need another Tums. 

Pretending to be an adult is quite exhausting. 

6 more months of BLOGGING

Can you believe I’ve been blogging for 18 months???

It’s been kind of a slow 6 months.  Maybe because it was winter or maybe because I’m lazy, but I feel like I haven’t done as much as I did in my first 6 month and 1 year blog.  

Let’s look at what I’ve done.

• Went to a painting class
• Saw Stephen Colbert
• Went to a Ross King lecture
• Spent Thanksgiving with my sister  (We had Chinese.)
• Went to a couple Wizards games
• Spent a day in Florida for a wedding
• Toured the White House to see their Christmas decorations
• Hiked
• Played a season of winter volleyball
• Started my 101 in 1001 project
• Saw Susan Cain
• Went to a Blackberry Smoke Concert
• Took a blogging class
• Saw General McChrystal speak
• Hiked more
• Went skiing
• Went snowshoeing
• Climbed Mt. Washington
• Visited two new states: Vermont and New Hampshire
• Went to the Ben and Jerry’s factory
• Went to a Jodi Picoult event
• Went to a Sheryl Sandberg event
• Took (another) painting class
• Saw Sandra Day O’Connor speak
• Went to a USS Cole event
• Saw Luke Bryan in concert
• Started playing spring softball
• Started playing spring football
• Went to a movie at the DC International Film Festival
• Stopped tutoring
• Applied to grad school
• Cut off 14 inches of my hair and donated the hair to Locks of Love
• Went to a Cinco de Mayo party

I am working very hard on my 101 in 1001 project. I’m currently 10% finished, and I have 898 days left.  I feel like I’m going to get a lot done this summer - the planning has already begun.  

Overall though, I don’t feel like this list is long or robust.  This only inspires me to have a more active summer!!!  

Have you done anything fun over the last 6 months???

Making my Life Significant

As someone who has taken the “road less traveled” in my short life, I’m, again, re-thinking everything: my career, my location, my purpose.  Remember how I just posted about my Quarter Life Crisis?  Well, I still have no answers, but I refuse to stop conversing about this important topic.

I graduated from college at age 28 and immediately found a job at a prestigious-sounding government agency.  I make great money if you live in the Midwest, and I make just enough to get by in Washington DC.  My job is super boring, but I work with wonderful people and when I leave at 4:30pm, I leave it all at work.  I have a good life.

I shouldn’t be complaining. 

But I am.

I look around and think, “None of this matters.”  My job doesn’t matter.  Half of the work my department – or at least my little division within the larger department – handles doesn’t matter.  My boss’ overly stressed approach is unnecessary.  The Blackberry mentality is ridiculous.  Yard work doesn’t matter.  Fancy clothes don’t matter.  Traffic doesn’t matter.  Everything just seems so….insignificant.

Do you know what’s isn’t insignificant though??? 

EATING

PAYING YOUR BILLS

LIVING A DEBT-FREE LIFE

TRAVELING

SAVING FOR RETIREMENT

I feel like I’m settling for a job that pays the bills because that’s what I’m “supposed” to do.  

I feel like I’m settling in my life.  Then I get mad at myself for allowing this to happen.  I’m starting to think, “Geez...GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!”

I guess there is a larger question – how do you balance the bills and the boring part with something fun and fulfilling?  I guess I could find a job that both pays the bills and is fulfilling, but seriously…..where are those jobs posted??  And how much do they pay???

If I had it my way, I would be a travel blogger.  Or a park ranger.  Or a hiker.  Or life coach.  Or Kenyan mud-house builder.  Yes, I’m serious about all of these options.  I would also make 80K a year.  (Why won’t someone pay me to hike the Appalachian Trail???)  

I want so badly to do something amazing.  But I have a big secret that is preventing me from getting too far outside of my comfort zone.

This is the secret: I’m too scared.  I’m too scared to quit my job and backpack across Asia.  (Although, I’m not sure which gives me more anxiety.)  I'm too scared to go to culinary school or get a MFA because I feel like I should get a Master's degree in a subject that will further my career.  

The below quote is from Dear Sugar, which I have taped to my cubicle wall at work.  I think this is the way we should all begin living our lives.  Her words really put my life into perspective.  I will keep looking for something amazing.  I will keep my vulnerabilities surfaced and contemplate my fears.  But most of all, I will continue to weigh all of my options.  

What are you going to do???

"You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts.

You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth.

But that’s all."

Surviving the Quarter Life Crisis

I’m just trying to survive my Quarter Life Crisis.  

I have 8 months before I hit 30, and I’m pretty sure I was supposed to have it all together by now.  But let’s be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing.  I am basically a 12-year-old child trapped in this 29-year-old, cubicle-working, no passion, no direction life.  

In reality, I’m just trying to figure it all out.  

Where do I want to live?

Where do I want to work?

Am I really a repressed minimalist living among too much stuff?

What is my passion?  (Uh...is “passion” really a thing??)

Why can’t I stop biting my nails?

How do I define success?  And how am I working towards this?

So, in true form, I decided I need a plan.  Without a plan, I don’t act.  I think and stew and wallow.  Having a plan is much better.

This is my plan to persevere through my Quarter Life Crisis:

1.  Define my goals.

Without a clear set of goals, you have no idea what you are working towards.  You’ll just roam through life without a clear sense of direction.  You don’t have to be on the right path, but you should have an idea of where you are are going.  

Someone once had me make a life plan.  This was a daunting task, but it did open my eyes to begin mapping out how I want my future to look.

2.  Save money.

No one likes feeling poor.  No one likes feeling like they can’t pay their bills or that they can’t do the things they want.  You probably aren’t going to have your dream job at this point - let’s not even talk about our dream salary - but there is always room to save money.  

And I highly suggest watching Suze!

3.  Do something creative.

Take an art class.  Rearrange your living room.  Only buy things that are pretty AND functional.  Buy snappy shoes.  Get a haircut.  Get hot pink hair extensions.  

Doing something creative will only open your eyes to the beauty in the world.  Only then will you see the beauty in yourself and the beauty in the things that may have once appeared ugly and terrible.  

4.  Get outside.

Some people like running.  I might not be one of those people, but I highly suggest you going out for a run.  Or a brisk walk.  Or a slow walk.  

I have recently discovered joy and peace in hiking.  Maybe there is some new activity in which you could partake....who knows....maybe you’ll discover a new love.  

5.  DO SOMETHING!!!!

Write down your plan; then, put it into action.  Take a class at the community college or enroll in grad school.  Start a journal.  Use a planner.  Go to a MeetUp event.  Get outside of your comfort zone.  Take a different route to work tomorrow.  

Taking a baby step is better than stagnation.  

A Woman to Admire

As a woman in my late, late, late 20’s, I’m on the hunt for a good woman to admire.

But how to you pick someone? 

What are the characteristics you look for?

                Successful.

                Poised.

                Educated.

                Confident.

                Eloquent.

It’s easy to think of men to admire: Colin Powell - before he basically became a Democrat, Mark Zuckerberg, John Roberts, Bill Gates.  

It’s easy to think of older women to admire: Madeline Albright, duh!!!  The Queen.  Condoleezza Rice.  Sandra Day O’Connor.  Oprah. 

And it’s VERY easy to think of dead people to admire: George Washington, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria, Steve Jobs.  Although sometimes I think dead people getting a better name for themselves just because they are dead.  Hello JFK! 

But I’m looking for a woman who isn’t too much out of my age range to look up to.

So who are my options?  Sheryl Sandberg.  Marissa Mayer.

But I’ve very different from these women.  I don’t have a wealthy family that gave me awesome opportunities.  I didn’t go to prestigious schools.  I make less than $100,000 a year.  I’m in a job with no growth opportunities.  And I don’t even have a window anywhere near my desk.  (Desk = cubicle). 

I suppose I could look up to women I actually know.  Women in my family.  Women at work.  My favorite authors. 

I feel like the first criteria a woman must have is that she must have done something amazing!  I’m not sure that I know anyone who has done anything amazing!  But what does ‘amazing’ mean? 

I used to know a guy who admired his mother more than anyone.  His father died suddenly, without life insurance, when he was around 7, and he had three other younger siblings.  Now, this guy admired his mother because she stepped up and raised four children, successfully ran the business the father started, and never complained.  I could never understand why he looked up to her so much.  Isn’t that what any mother would do?  How is she special?  Is she special just because she survived the situation and raised 4 children?

Maybe that’s the thing….this woman did something special for her family and maybe that’s the only thing that matters.

But I want to look up to a woman who did more than raise a family and had a mediocre job.   

Now, in my research,* I got a couple different answers.  From Google, the most frequent names I found were Hillary Clinton, Oprah, and European leaders.  From my friends, I heard answers such as teachers, bosses, parents, pastor’s wife, movie stars, and friends. 

Now, I’m not sure what the answer is.  I’m not sure how to pick someone to admire and I’m not sure that I admire anyone.  I wonder if it’s good to admire someone.  If you look up to someone so much, you might miss out on an awesome opportunity because the person you admire probably didn’t take that same path.  

And, if you admire someone, does that mean that you aspire to follow in their path?  Or does it mean that you pick and choose a few characteristics to mimic?

I don’t have the answer, but I know that I’m on the outlook for a woman to admire.  

Any suggestions????

*My research consisted of Google searches on “most powerful women,” “most admirable women,” and “most successful women.”  I also (unscientifically) polled my friends via text message and IM.

Winter Adventure.....Part 2

You know that feeling when you are laying in bed, awake, and you know your alarm is about to go off.  You don’t want to look at your phone because you don’t really want to know what time it is.  And, you know that if you hit the button, the phone will light up and you’ll instantly be stimulated when you should be resting.  And it’s not just about looking at the time.  You have to read that one email that came in at 2:47am.  Once you have deleted that piece of junk mail, you might as well check FaceBook too.  Then, the second you put the phone down, the light fades, you finally close your eyes and you become fully relaxed.  

That’s the moment the alarm goes off.  

By the time, layered myself up with proper clothing, my friend and I went downstairs for the hotel’s (crappy) breakfast.  My hike leader and the rest of the group showed up, and we went over proper equipment, which of course I spent half a fortune to purchase.  The group packed the cars and we set out for our “acclimation hike.”  We drove a few exits down the highway and hiked Mounts Dickey and Welch.  It was a total of about 4 1/2 miles.  We got a slight idea of the snow we would face and learned how to use crampons.  Although this was called our “acclimation hike,”   

Mt. Washington was vastly different than these smaller mountains. We began our hike on the mountain at 7am on Sunday morning.

Mt. Washington was like nothing I’ve ever seen before.  Everything I thought about snow and serenity was put to shame before I started on the Mt. Washington trail.  

Mt. Washington was the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.  

Although the fog was a little thick, the snow-covered trees created the perfect motivation for me to keep hiking up the steep trail.  

The trail was not packed as well as the trails I had been on the previous two days.  I followed the trail leader’s steps almost exactly as I made my way up.  

We made it to a large hut, about 1.5 miles from the summit.  That was when my hike leader told us we would not make it.  It was almost noon, and it would take us about 2 more hours to make it the rest of the way.  That means that we would not have had enough time to get back down the mountain before sunset.  It would have been unsafe.  

Going down the mountain was my favorite part of the trip.  This was my chance to fully enjoy the environment around me.  I got to see the snow in it’s most true and pure form.  I got to slide on my butt down the steepest parts, which my knees and ankles really appreciated.  I now know that feeling of making a misstep and ending up waist deep in snow.

And I know the feeling of trying to get out of waist deep snow.

I also learned what it felt like to take hold of my fears and turn that energy into achieving something awesome.  

Maybe I didn’t make it to the top of Mount Washington, but I still accomplished something great.  I put myself out there to physically fail, and I succeeded.  

This may be the most challenging adventure I’d ever been on.  The hike was equally mentally challenging as it was physically.  

I made it safely to the bottom with the greatest feeling of accomplishment that I have ever felt.  

I left New Hampshire the very next day, after a wonderful night’s sleep.  

And no, I never saw a moose.

95 goals left......962 days left.